He spelled "beautiful" wrong in his text
I just saw a girl wearing a flannel shirt that would make 1992 cringe
The streak lives on, still havent been to Towson without throwing up
I'm going to rise like a phoenix out of the drunken, shameful ashes that were last weekend.
You know its bad when convincing your mother you were masturbating is the better alternative
Apparently unused tampons can also double as things to bite down on during public sex to prevent screaming...
Security has videotape of her blowing the boss against his car. Don't they know he entire parking lot is under video surveillance?
I made everything so magnificently awkward in under 15 seconds. I am magic.
Well I woke up naked, with a santa hat on, and a bag of beef jerky next to me. So yeah, I would say it was a pretty successful trolley
HE LEFT ME THE DAY AFTER I LET HIM PEE ON ME. If you date him after that, I'll leave the fucking PLANET.
I pay 3K a month for rent, yet last nite I broke into the back of my building, scaled over 2 tons of garbage in heels and took a dirty freight elevator to my floor just so my doorman wouldn't see how fucked up I was
U know ur prob on camera right?
Legal advice please. Can you sue someone for jerking off to photos of you?
My sister gave me satin sheets. We can fuck on satin sheets.
How many weight watcher activity points do you think sex is worth?
My GF, FWB and Side piece are all booty calling me. I’m a victim of my sexual success
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