i was more sad about losing him as neighbor on fishville than as a boyfriend
It's a shame that I don't know his last name. Actually, it's an ever bigger shame that I don't know his first name
just threw up in the bus full of other international students just outside of boulder, just keeping the aussie reputation alive
battery dying...get laid and text me after...or during...its whatever.
I came home to my brother stoned out of his mind. He got a high score on COD and asked me to have a celebration yogurt with him.
Lots of rum and cokes. Bartender wore my underwear on his head. Lost my keys. Accidentily started a fight. DC is going to kill me
She's dipping the chocolate graham crackers in marshmallow vodka for a 'campfire taste'
Never backflip into an above ground pool. I think the gash will be smaller by Monday though.
Is girls night deemed a success when you piss the bed?
MY TWIN SISTER IS ENGAGED. I REPEAT, MY SCREW UP OF A SISTER IS ENGAGED. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
I'll be there in 20 with vodka.
She can't brag about all the anal sex she has and then expect me not to awkwardly stare at her boyfriend when she brings him around
To shove my foot up anybody ass who tries to start shit. I'm not takin shit this year. That and I wanna volunteer somewhere to help make a difference
I JUST AGREED TO GO TO A CHILD'S BIRTHDAY PARTY AT A PLACE CALLED PUZZLE'S FUN DOME WHY DO I HATE MYSELF
...Just hit my fuck buddy with my car.
We are bad people. This is why we are friends. <3
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