No, I'm a firm believer in "Swallow or it isn't love."
She's the rare girl who loses weight and gets uglier.
did i try to light ur hair on fire with a sparkler at the club saturday?
If I die young bury me in satin. And make sure there's a taco bar at my funeral.
I can taunt you with whatever I want. Like batman and sex.
Yea i think drunk-me kept all my bar receipts, just to throw it in sober-me's face.
Her fortune said that she will soon be free. She's taking her bra off at the table.
This Halloween will be different. I'm just here to get shitfaced, not troll around looking for slutty nun pussy.
The cop asked you after the breathalyzer what you think you blew and you very discreetly shouted "I'm pretty sure i blew Kyle on the way here "
My sex life is driven by spite and alcohol
He noticed my new Lipstick so later tonight it's going to be on his dick.
He made her leave because she liked Top-Ramen better than Maruchaun. He's my hero.
please don't forget about the bread in the toilet i am absolutely not dealing with that
You planned on giving him head in the shower?
More like I just fell and it seemed like a good idea when I was down there
I bought him flowers and fake vampire fangs, cuz there's really not a greeting card that says "Sorry I got wasted last night and started a very sloppy bloodletting ritual.".
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