like if someone fucked a dictionary but instead of having a penis, it was just one of those leap frog educational toys
I hope to god you are high
love makes seman taste better
My parents showed me my IQ test from fourth grade, I'm shitting on my potential.
i guess this means i'm going to be wearing knee socks during sex again
Out of all the things I've put my penis in, this seems the most unfortunate.
I am now the only person in my apartment who hasn't had sex in my bed.
I feel a bullet train of disappointment headed in your direction.
After we were done the second time she turned to me and called me a Hardcore Armadillo. Also, her O face involves crossed eyes. You tell me.
IF I CAN STICK YOUR DICK IN MY MOUTH, I CAN STICK MY GUM ON YOUR NIGHTSTAND.
Also I fell in love w a girl dressed as a pirate that was great at doing the limbo
HELP THE ONLY THING THAT'S HELPING ME DISTINGUISH BETWEEN THE TWO OF THEM IS THE DIRECTION OF THEIR WINKY FACES OMFG
Either that or he's gagged in a strangers trunk right now.
Well I suppose either way he's learning a pretty tough lesson right now.
orgy was averted by karaoke, thank god
I think I pulled a boob muscle during phone sex
He passed away peacefully doing what he loved to do best. Eating a pound of vodka gummy worms and failing at sex and the city trivia.
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