If I was doing exactly what I wanted right now I would be getting fucked on a jet ski while listening to "When Love Takes Over" by Kelly Rowland while eating french fries.
In Canada she would be a 10 but here in America she's only a 7
Stalkers don't have time for showers...it's a full time job
he literally had a slideshow of all the girls hes had sex with pictures set to american woman
Just pooped at the strip club. NOT NORMAL . I may be a little too comfortable here.
He won't stop licking me..... im choosing your date next time.
I thought 4 percs were too many but I'm dumping Gogurt on apple pie and taking giant bong rips. This feels right.
Printed off fake 'Producer' Sundance badges for us. Pretty sure they double as free passes for getting laid by 'actresses'. Testing this theory tonight.
Crazy fun. I think I got a concussion from a stripper
There's no discreet way to sneak a cucumber into the shower lol
The only person who DOESN'T think it's a horrible idea to sleep with my ex is my therapist. Obviously I trust her judgement above all others.
I had a meltdown and you quoted Puddle of Mudd to me
Now that it's over, I can finally say it and not feel bad,dude. Her mustache is better than yours.
So I don't think the seahorse breeding thing is gonna work.
That was random, even for you Mom.
I just used a bag of jelly beans as an arm weight...I'm not sure what to think of myself
Randomize
