Just found two Xanax on the floor at the tanning bed. And yes, Im taking them...looks like going to get cancer is paying off
Thinking about bringing a vibrator to the tanning bed...kill two birds with one stone right?
season finale of lost and an oz of weed. tonight my mind is going to be blown.
this islike a room full of reasons why i should be in prison
You're going to have to tell him your name isn't Ivor McTruckson eventually.
She's the drunk girl with the air-horn and sunflower seeds.
We tried to break her futon, I crushed my balls instead. You have one less reason to be jealous that my balls are insanely huge and yours are not.
just found a someones bra in what seems to be a mix of pickle juice and vodka in my fridge. Who was over here lately?
It's like rock paper scissors. Cold showers and smoking beat hangovers.
There is naked swordfighting and something green and alcoholic going on in the basement. COME. OVER. NOW.
A prostitute stole us beer at 3 am
Doing laundry. My jeans from last night smell like chicken wings and motor oil.
Nothing kills the mood quicker than kneeing him in the face during sex
I was really proud of me too last night! Found a discarded hamburger that I have no memory of at the foot of the bed. Instead of a Dude. I'm really growing as a person
I don't want to inconvenience you with my dick\n\n
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