Also my back is semi rug burned and I'm holding you fully responsible.
I would love to give you more rug burn
Have you learned any life lessons?
I like big butts and I cannot lie.
i've been fucking this guy since february and just found out he might be uncircumsized. currently google image searching to confirm.
idk if its the weather or the "im still drunk" or the morning sex i just had with my roommates gf but that was def the most enjoyable walk in the rain ever
You two were too busy to notice that his used condom landed on me when he threw it.. Thanks.
She was standing in the road flagging traffic in a tshirt and boxers. I didn't stop.
All she wanted was a cigarette
Aside from the slim chance of pregnancy, I'm gonna call last night a raging success.
I'm taking myself to the hospital right now b/c there is no way this erection is subsiding in the next 4 hours.
The bag I'm bringing home for the weekend: a change of clothes, workout shoes, and sex toys, that's it.
Also cheers for the reminder to check last night's texts. It's been a magical adventure through drunk me's thought process.
I woke up to him "wax on, wax off"-ing my boobs. I just reminded myself that I love him and let it happen.
Blocking me on Facebook doesn't change the fact that you've had my penis in my mouth. So there's that.
Apparently I called him, said "vodka" and then hung up on him.
I might as well just sew it shut at this point.
I'm driving to his house to eat chicken and hopefully have an orgasm
Randomize
