Iiiiiii almost fall ib the lake
my fake id says im a 34 yr old russian lady ... how is this working
For some reason I knew you were going to smell like strippers and burritos when I hugged you.
BIGGER SANDWIJH COME NIW OR DIE
Does anyone know why "math wizard" is written on my arm?
Her vagina smelled like pancake batter. That's all you need to know.
Last night he asked the cab driver "if you were in the middle of getting tattooed and the tattoo artist suddenly got a boner would you leave or would you get that boner??"
I feel strange, like something is off with my body
Yeah that's called sobering up, we've been drunk for the past 4 days
And please let him know I don't normally go off on long rants about feminist theory. That was totally the vodka talking.
They put paint on their hands and tried to see how many times they could touch me before I woke up.
Judging by this purple one they got to second base.
She said I had a really great aura. Which I think is hippie code for "I bet you can give me a mind melting orgasm"
They are doing the auction. One of the items in the auction is a grenade launcher.
Its really hard to get off when the googly eyes on your vibrator stare into your soul..
If it makes you feel better he's in the stall next to me and I'm taking a diabolical shit. He's complaining
He told me that I should keep my socks on next time because he read somewhere that it'll help me orgasm...
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