just do it
fine only cuz shes asian
Sometimes when I see pregnant women, I wonder what position they were in when they got knocked up. Then I gag a little.
Thanks for stranding me with th douchebag award recipients
Why do I have peacock feathers super glued to my body?
and then he publicly announced her herpes on facebook.
She was covered in mud grabbed my crotch and said see that handprint that means I called dibs
Apparently being drunk on a southwest flight and yelling "TURNUP" during take off is looked down upon in this state.
I mean.. listen to "Put It In My Mouth" and you'll get the gist of my voicemail for you.
I'm honestly considering asking her if I can eat her out, as a friend.
You kept whispering to me that the guy making your burrito was an angel.
In Punta Cana for my bachelor trip, hopefully tomorrow my passport is blacklisted
the bright side of moving is at least my Tinder options will refresh
Have you ever been so drunk you pass out in the cab and everyone goes inside and forgets about you? I have
It's your birthday, you should get to jizz where you want to. Jizz when you want tooo
Some girls mom just approved of me banging her on Fb.... For the whole world to see.. I'm officially a god.
Randomize
