that john and kate plus 8 dude has ruined asians for me
ugh.. my birth control just came out of my nose. wtf?
How do you get a cum stain out of a trampoline?
Oh please, I could turn a Vienna Boys Choir concert into a shit show
Its sad we have to plan out fun a month in advance. 30 sucks.
To make up for the snow days we missed he's making us write a paper on alcoholism. It's like he knows.
i feel like verizon should give a sexter of the month award
I get way too drunk to be trusted with family heirlooms
Someone is gonna learn how to start an IV in the morning
I have a plus one for the Blackout Express, should I pen in your name?
You need to come back and help me drink our beer so the fridge has room for the other beers
So your brother is gay after all... Just caught him making out with my brother... Apparently he's gay too
You shouldn't have to. I think you should bust into work like "pay homage to my magical vagina!"
I'm gonna hop on that dick and ride it into the sunset
I'm drunk. And I'm alone. Eating chicken fingers in my underwear. I'd say life is grand.
Randomize
