No it only became awkward when she walked in with her new boyfriend and we realized we'd all banged her
Note to self: soco dudes get amusinly uncomfotable when I moan at the urinal.
I was giving him a blow job in the kitchen, but it was uncomfortable. so i took the oven mitts and used them as knee pads.
Don't tell me i'm not fucking resourceful.
We've been friends for six months, when do my benefits kick in?
You emptied out your taco and asked the lady for a refill...and then you continued to carry out a full conversation SCREAMING
Apparently it is impossible to get kicked out of taco bell....I'll try harder next time
Woke up today to the sound of church bells. My first thought was shit the apocalypse, but then I remembered my hook up lives next to a church. This might be a rough day.
Lets be real here, you loved it when I was on top. With and without the machete.
HELP A SISTER OUT. AND KEEP YOUR TONGUE OUT OF THE HUMMUS.
TOO HIGH TO FIGURE THIS SHIT OUT
dude he's still passed out in my bathtub. and his dick is half way in a 40 bottle... i really hope he was just trying to piss in it
I got so stoned last night I thought I was in second grade again
I need to find parents that want to take care of a grown adult. I'm sure there's a website out there for that. Like a sugar daddy but sugar parents.
We just had can't-look-you-in-the-eye sex and it was still surprisingly good
she brought her phone charger to the bar this bitch is ready to drink
i just woke up on the desk in his dorm with him snoring in my vagina. better than last week waking up to a different guy puking on my bare ass i guess.
Our conversation went from you choking me to my quarter life crisis reeeaaalllll quick.
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