in retrospect, sexting while high was a mistake - I meant to say "I'll fuck you stupid, baby" but of course I said "I'll fuck your stupid baby"
There's trophy wives that arent even in the 5th grade yet
When we made out her lip\nose ring fell out in my mouth. Awkward?
Note: fake nails and fingering anus.... Not a good idea
it's like god just wants me to be high for five days in a row. keep the blizzards coming.
This girl is drinking wine and watching grey's anatomy in the library during finals week. I hate comm majors.
Hey just to warn you theres a really fat guy passed out in front of our front door snoring. Don't touch him, he's in god's hands now.
I have not carelessly put myself in herpes way since I got a clean bill of health tyvm.
I may or may not have traded sexual favors for Disney on Ice tickets.
These cutoffs are too tight but my ass looks like Freedom
Nothing says "single girl" quite like Pinot Grigio and canned ravioli at 11:30 pm....
Last night when we banged she had nothing else on but socks that said 'property of Jesus' on them.
Wearing my one sleeve dress...thought you'd like to know I shaved ONE armpit lol
just woke up with nickles taped to my body. theres like a dollar worth.
I don't think getting eaten out in a smart car behind a circle-k on my break by a guy I just met classifies as social distancing, but I'm beginning to love night shift more and more.
Randomize
