You're never going to guess who I just worked out next to..
Who?
Chris brown
No way... I bet he was intense
Are you kidding? He was prob training for round two
Thats about the time I should have known you would run around naked and try to make out with my sleeping mother
My balls had bee stings let's just leave it at that.
The worst decision I made last night was allowing myself to be duct taped to the ceiling
Just woke up in his bed wearing only his shoes. I don't know how to gently say hey dude get the fuck up and take me home....regardless these are some nice shoes.
At this point i guess a traditional, non-life-threatening pity fuck is too much to ask for
TIL a potato cannon can be loaded with dildos as ammunition. Boy, do our neighbours love us!
Yes I did. Thanks. I was actually an hour and half early. I'm better at public transport than I thought. Guy behind me on the bus is also crying. We compared cry-snot. It was nice in a weird sad way.
You're 21st was epic. I woke up at 6 a.m. on the floating beer pong table in the pool with a beer still in hand. Didn't even spill any
I had a sex dream about Fox Mulder, and the Royals just won the World Series. My life is complete.
I went to Christian school in the 90s. I can finger blast anything, but dignity.
We're friends with benifits... The benifits being I'm fucking her boyfriend
saw a family tailgating a graduation with hard liquor... i'm assuming yours?
are you shitting me? they told me they'd at least wait until 10am
The date did not go well. Turns out I once set her brother on fire.
Do you know anything about how the saran wrap ended up on my toilet seat?
Randomize
