today was the first day of rush. talking to girls all day makes me sick of having a uterus.
today i did the best job ever shaving. like my vagina is PERFECT. plus i straightened my hair for a good hour. if i don't get ass tonight, i'm killing a baby.
I thought about donating plasma but thats not the way i want to find out that i have aids
I'm not sure if doing him was such a good idea. Yes the sex was good, but I'm scared I set myself up for failure in 2011 because he's the hottest guy. Ever.
To put it in a frame of reference with which you're familiar, it was like making out with a golden retriever.
I'm lying on the floor in the back room praying my boss doesn't come to work today.never again
you'll be horrified to know he's visiting next weekend
You two are a rollercoaster of sex and silence.
I will suppress my appetite by doing shots then passing out
I figure that my generation of my family needs an alcoholic. I'll take that burden.
You kept saying we got to find the end of the rainbow, which turned out to be a box of lucky charms and Guinness in the bag of cereal
I woke up to a quacking alarm clock and a rando in my bed. I told him I liked his cargo shorts. Fireball is not my soulmate anymore.
how much do I hate his dog? was just googling to see if you can rent a hungry eagle for the weekend hate.
I accidentally gave my prayer card to the bouncer. Clearly a cry for help #saveme
I think I'm gunna glue a sign to my head that says "WAKE ME UP BEFORE 7!" And go to sleep and hope a kind passer by wakes me up for my exam .
He said a lot of nice things about me, it was really uncalled for.
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