There were 3 chicks in my bed I didn't know when I got home. Now I know all of them. Biblically.
is it bad that the first thing i do when i get downstairs is go on farm town?
you're like the Neil Armstrong of terrible hookups, you are a pioneer
Try denying you're gay when "I'm Not A Girl, But Not Yet A Woman" comes on Shuffle.
i got really high and listened to the spongebob squarepants theme song and, i swear to god, it was in german.
When else am I ever going to have a chance to do lines with T-Pain?
I just broke a sweat shaving my own vagina. Something has got to change.
He asked us to wake him up with a strobe light. We had it going in front of his face full power for half and hour and he didn't even blink.
Yea I almost drowned giving a BJ in the shower once
walk of shame. I'm wearing my rain jacket over my dragon costume. My tail keeps dragging in the rain.
He left stubble rash on my thighs and cooked me bacon before 9am. I need to lock this down STAT
its a recording of you guys having sex?!
its actually 30 minutes of him begging and then 2 minutes of sex.
I am NOT losing my v-card to a guy who doesn't know my ass from my elbow.
Guess how much it costs to flush your pants down the toilet?
You drank whiskey for 9 hours and did not eat anything.Nothing good was going to come from that.
Randomize
