i may have used way too many innuedos last night. i scared him off. but really... how could i pass up "stimulus package" and "flacid economy." don't answer that.
don't thank me. stop putting your penis in foreign objects.
but i got with him after midnight so its technically 2 days
I just typed 14 shots of Smirnoff into my calorie count toolbar. Then typed pole dancing 1.5hrs into the calorie burner search. Should break even.
I'm pretty sure when you walk down Broadway and can pick out people you've slept with.. It might be a problem. I'm leaving for rehab tomorrow.
I don't mean to ruin your favorite Disney movie...but...we both came when Mufasa died.
He's socially awkward. He has a big dick. We've had this talk before, they're socially awkward because they don't leave the house they just sit home and play with it.
You would be so proud at how green we're being. Re-using last night's jello shot containers.. saving the world one step at a time
I swear if you get so drunk that I have to sing Bohemian Rhapsody to you again to get you to come out of the bathroom I'm leaving you at the bar this time.
So the pizza place just called me after an hour saying they don't have dough
Is the Glover Park Chipotle past the strip club?
Why is that your only point of reference?
Just answer the question
Apparently last night I was doing back bends for the guy making my easy mac because clearly it wasn't easy enough for me.
long story short... we may or may not have lost your car.
Fine I’ll come with you but you better tell that guy to wear some longer shorts because the second I see a rogue nut I’m gone
The bartender remember my drink from last sat. I think we just became drocals...drunk. locals.
Randomize
