Myspace is for pedophiles and tweakers in the 818 trying to hook up. I always forget theres music there too
I am midnight drunk by noon
dont try to nair your balls. i speak from experience
it wasn't THAT bad but he definitely called his dick an asshole and said sorry to my vagina
I'm finding that as the end of the quarter approaches, the list of things I refuse to do sober keeps getting longer.
I feel like this has turned into my work. But if I get paid sitting under a desk, that's perfectly fine with me.
he has this weird thing where he watches me pee
I want you to read this conversation tomorrow and be proud of the fact that you taught me how to decipher any drunk message. Good job.
i went to the 24h massage place last night and brought down the price for a hand job from $50 to $12.75 and half the big mac left in my bag.
I just remember looking over and seeing you on top of him and us high fiving. That's when I knew we'd be perfect roommates
Kyle found me outside his apartment in the hallway. Said he didn't hear me knock bt smelled alcohol through the door. I'm sucha bitch to my liver
Your exhaustion is probably due to your rampant sexual urges and the fact that you live the same life as a raccoon.
I got you a "sorry you think I'm pregnant" present
You have better ratings than Crest. Only 4/5 dentists recommend it. You have 8/9 recommendation for your blowjob skills.
You know you went through something intense when you actuallu applaud yourself for not shitting your pants
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