the ugly redhead just came into the bar, wearing a sombrero...by herself... who is going to tell her that its not cool to throw themed parties when you're the only guest?
I'd call her a cunt, but she dooesn't seem to have the depth or warmth.
I understand. Hypothetically what should one do after throwing up in the shower?
im gonna make a bucket list just so i can cross off "underwater blowjob"
Dude, she literally just asked me if her mac'n'cheese makes me horny. I think I found the one.
Someone better explain the burnt stove marks on my bed.
cracked out the beer snorkel again. that thing has a five for five record of getting me naked.
Hahah fuuuck, bag pipers played around me while I threw up. Literally
Just grabbing my bra from a history teacher's desk in the Humanities building. Maybe I should stop drinking on weeknights
I should have slept with you when you were wearing the gorilla suit. I've had dreams about your chest hair. I hope jail wasn't too bad.
I met this girl the other day and found out her boyfriend is a helicopter pilot. How the fuck do you compete with that.
So wise, so handsome, so good at oral sex.
had a nice chat with the older gay fellow who works in the bakery at the new vons about vday...we both feel that it's a day of dashed expectations & concerns that we'll have to be cut out of our spanx
I'm the only person I know who could have actual sex and then dream about my vibrator.
There's so many drinking games in the Olympics.
you missed out this chick was licking her paddle
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