I thought you should know that you passed out in your trash can last night.
Thanks for throwing up on me.
i effin hate jeff goldbloom.
but i totally would still bang him
The whole time we were fucking I kept thinking, "My dad would love this cologne. I'll have to ask him where he got it." the highlight of the night is that I figured out my dad's birthday gift.
By the way seagulls wings are very soft. And the lesbian and or by sexual twins say hello. Be home in the little bit time frame.
Hahahaha who is sleeping in the garage on our beer pong table?
I don't understand or I understand perfect - if were not talking about fried chicken I'm not sure what's happening.
It's Been clinically proven that people who have sex 6 or more times per week are happier than those who don't. Just and FYI. For your mental health. From a soon so be psychologist. Who is drunk.
How's my sex life is me mastubating next to her dog. that's how it's going.
She's high and screaming MEREDITH IS A WHORE
I pretty much just wake up, masturbate at least twice, and go to the beach. #Unemployed. I do look for jobs in between all that tho.
We fucked. Had a political debate. I won. So I sat on his face.
IF YOU DIE ON LSD YOU DIE FOR REAL
All I remember is that I was trying to call my wolf pack by howling.
my grocery cart consisted of hershey bars, sour patch kids, starbursts, mayo, 4 frozen pizzas, 4 lunchables, and chips. clearly, i can't do this on my own.
I just bought two 8 Balls of Coke from the chick nurse that stitched my leg together in the ER after my bike accident last summer.
Randomize
