I just tipped a bartender in xanax.
She made fun of how I walked so I announced to her boyfriend that I have cum on her face before.
if you google earth my address you can see me getting out of my car. finally my moment of being famous
You have permanently scared my back with your nails. I would like to congratulate you on a job well done.
Just found out he cheated on me last night. But its Shark Week so I will deal with it next week.
Need help. Super baked. Stuck on couch. Dying of thirst. Bring paint thinner or something to pry me off. Only thumbs and neck work.
i remember going to sleep after the 4th time i threw up this morning and hoping i didn't have to again because then it would be uneven between saturday and sunday. my ocd is getting out of control
Also, nothing screams "don't talk to me because I'm unstable" like walking around eating cookie dough out of the package.
My tuesday consisted of speaking to a federal agent for two hours and watching a roving band of gypsies jump over a fire until 2:30am
He stood me up.
I'm no sure if I should be pissed or proud that he finally grew a backbone.
Dude you better come get your girl, she's sitting here eating a tub of pasta salad muttering to herself about gypsies.
I am the oldest one here and I STILL feel like I need an adult. help.
i am no longer ashamed when i walk into the dining hall for sunday brunch and i'm greeted with applause for suriving my weekend
Currently watching high school football on ESPN. Drink every time they say 'this kid's got potential' or 'look at this kid go' or 'atta kid' We're done for..
shots, cocks, socks. bingo
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