I feel like our house is getting pulled over.
In case you come back to the room and i'm not here, yes there's a cup filled with gravy in the microwave. Just take it out if you need to heat something.
He woke up, got my bottle of water and poured it on me and then went back to sleep. Not really how I want to wake up at 2 a.m.
Michelle asked what I was wearing tonight. I responded with a g-string and plastic wrap. I've gotten no response since.
Can I steal her, take her home, and feed her only vodka?
Just text the random number in my iphone notes that was entered at 1am. Should be interesting.
Prepare for massive TMI but anyway long story short I have a Swiss flag band-aid across my balls.
What a patriot you are. How'd it happen?
What's the place called?
I searched "county" on google, but....there's a lot of results
Things are coming back to me in chunks. I vaguely remember signing a shirt that said 'I enjoy vagina'
I AM SO PROUD OF YOU
Don't send me heart emojis when you're jacking off.
I know him enough to fuck him but not enough to give him advice.
I have 80 very blurry photos of you on a stripper pole...
No fair. I need a fuck buddy to entertain me till the power comes back on
The number of threesomes I have agreed to seems to increase every time I talk to you drunk...
I don't trust him but hanging out with him might be fun
he's literally satan but yeah probably
Randomize
