Ask me how many people I've slept with. Because its changed since I last saw you.
I saw you 20 MINUTES AGO. You need to stop this.
can you buy anything in the cafeteria for less than $2? I spent the last of my laundry money on a chia pet
I don't think so, think I've only met him once, the night I lost my teeth
I just called my cat a slut and she responded. Proudest moment ever.
so yeah i told her you were going to become a doctor and the first thing she said was "i still don't want to fuck him". i tried.
I HAVE FLAVORED BLOW. THIS SHOULD NOT EXISIT.
If our dicks could shake hands in congratulations they would
Ok that kid was ether gay or 12 with a beard.
Ive made peace with the fact that i will accomplish nothing except liver damage today
We broke into the space center. If i go to jail I wanted to tell you, you have a fantastic dick. Use it wisely.
You're the common denominator of my blackouts.
I mean, except for the part where I was vomiting up pineapple and hot sauce, it was a really fun time.
We broke up. My life is now 7 inches less.
slept at my ex’s house last night and as i was leaving his brother was sitting there on the sofa and said “bet you regret that one don’t ya”
The ass gains better be worth it
Randomize
