Get out...Run...Or there's going to be a dick in your mailbox
you kept yelling something about watching the muppets chirstmas carol and trying to turn the t.v. on with your car keys
At the bar. Guy comes up wearing a hollister shirt and says "lets blow this popsicle stand"
You fucking left with him didn't you?!
hahaha he is wasted in math class right now and is drawing all the planets in order from the sun
I just put a picture of what I imagine Rob's dick looks like on it on my vision board. thank you Oprah!
Next time i try to unbutton my R.A's shirt with my teeth, please stop me
No promises.
We were sitting in my backseat and he just kept biting me and telling me we weren't at the zoo...
I had something called a trashcan. Never again. I almost fucked chewbacca.
Yea you just drank all the Hookah water, then started talking gibberish about the Kool Aid you just drank.
I projectile vomited in his sisters room where the toiled would have been if it were the bathroom.
damn. i can't believe how fast that went from 0 to lesbian
I think I just asked the Greek gyro guy on a yoga date.
I have a boner in one of my pics with her which no one noticed.
My kid just put flowers in my hair to make me pretty, then showed my boobs to an entire playground. He's either the best wingman or the worst.
I just found your shirt hanging in a tree 4 blocks from the party...in the opposite direction of your house. where are you going?
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