Any time before 12:00pm. Can go fuck itself.
He came in asked for the bathroom and came out 10 minutes later dripping wet took his redbull and left.
your philanthropy is ruining my sex life.
Talking to a male stripper. About the LSAT. Only in Vegas.
Want to get naked in Baltimore this weekend?
You just made it sound like a children's toy! It's a functioning body organ, my vagina is not a gameboy!!!
Where are you? I hear fireworks and you've gone missing. I'm sure that is not coincidence.
If you don't want me in your apartment then lock your door better
Today is going to be the longest game of "was that a fart, or do I need to go wipe?" I have ever played. Maybe the most challenging too.
Dont worry bro, i'll be the designated kayaker. I wouldnt want u to be drinking and kayaking.
I feel like they've probably fucked. Like.. you don't just bring a bitch a Big Mac if you haven't fucked her.
Got 2 free lines of blow from some random guys on the side of 13th street.....how's your Sunday going?
She wouldn't fuck me because I had a cast, so I took her friend home
IT TOOK ME LIKE AN HOUR TO DO THAT. DO YOU KNOW HOW HARD IT IS FOR ME TO CONCENTRATE ON ONE THING FOR AN ENTIRE HOUR?!
You know my vagina and my heart have a mind of their own even when it’s pouring snow.
Randomize
