She seriously needs to find another hobby other than bouncing on cock.
i just woke up and "where the fuck is taco bell" was in my search engine...
I just found a bagel and a condom in my coat pocket. I love blackouts
I can't believe I'm wasting this thong on a guy in a sweater vest.
dude I heard her through my door. She sounded like you were holding her head under water and they letting her up for air. I recorded that shit
im seconds away from chugging that vodka and preforming the surgery on myself.
Nothing says Happy Holidays like sending a picture of your ass to the wrong manager.
I've officially dedicated my newly single life to making myself squirt.
OMG he dropped his pants for me. Granted it was to show me where he got stabbed but still...
So, if you eat too many protein bars, you will shit your pants. This I learnt today..... at work.
What kind of terrible faithless God would allow vodka and one ply toilet paper to coexist?
Alcohol won't break your heart. I mean, unless it's all gone maybe
It was great. Somehow, sleeping with her sister cured everything!
I'm going to target high, just in case I ask you where my paycheck went later
I don't know who he was but he was covered up with a shower curtain and ate a whole bottle of tums
Randomize
