I'll buy you a vibrator, we can get married for tax benefits, and live happily ever after with lots of doggggs.
Nice. Sry i missed. Also sorry that i pissed on my toothbrush last nite
Sink seemed easy target but balance was no good
just jacked off in the bed i was conceived in.
just as they were cutting his pants off he made em stop & said "everyone knows about shrinkage right".
She thought someone was breaking in but when I said it was me she got even angrier and threw a coffee mug at my head.
I found out that my first kiss was an Italian. Even in kindergarden i knew size mattered.
did you know that if you have sex in the elevator on the way up that people can still get in?
We just ended up getting drunk and doing field sobriety tests on each for practice... No one remembers who passed.
Can you get the drug form of snow for the blizzard this weekend?
Needs to be more caveman. "Me kill roommate. You watch. Then sex time with our genitals."
well it can jab him in the chin so I am 100% sure he can suck his own dick
Smoked a blunt with my dad then introduced him to cinnabon delights. Today was a good day.
I'm no doctor but I don't think balls are supposed to look like that.
i accidentally gave my stepdad ketamine so id say it was a fun weekend.
my nurturing instincts told me to take his clothes off
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