Christmas on farmville was waaaaay better than my actual Christmas.
Your clothes are in washers 2,3 and 4. I arranged by darks, whites, then frat... I'm not even joking
Fuck morning classes. Fuck early work. Fuck anything in the morning that doesn't involve sleeping, sex or bacon.
Hate sex is AWESOME! I faked it, and when she fell asleep i came in her purse.
Dude, dont worry about the lamb fetus in the fridge.
What?
Just dont open the beer drawer.
Its a good thing the lights were off cuz Im pretty sure the look on my face when I touched his penis would have offended him
It's totally ok to sleep with him. The only place I have feelings for him is in my vagina.
I love you. Happy valentines. Satin Patricks dayyyyyyyyyy. Alreadythrew up. Geeeeerait.
I remeber being on the roof last night and we put our heads togeather and we touched each others face and said "Hennessyyyy"
I am. I woke up on someone's front lawn dressed as max Payne also be proud.
I drunkenly texted ur dad last night telling him he raised great kids hahahahaha
He changed the password on his Netflix account. The break up is official.
do you know why there was a glass jar of hot chocolate and a traffic flare in my shower?!! like where did that even come from
Access to a Target is paramount to my general happiness and self-worth.
Dude whoeverrs house this is has only creeam cheese and beer in the fridge. Thats my kinda diet
Randomize
