well, tey weren't taking lap dances as payment today
i'm telling everyone you had sex with a puerto rican drug lord
he threw mangos from the tree he was in at people and got arrested for harassment
I just witnessed someone getting head in the parking garage. Don't ever tell me Baylor is too conservative again.
im proctoring the SATs right now and im still drunk from last night. i really wanna tell these kids that this fucking test doest mean shit and they will just be constantly drunk once in college.
he's hot he just has too much baggage, and has really fucking skinny ankles which freaks me out
you aren't having sex with his ankles, As long as knee caps and above are good, i'd go for it
I am too drunk to deal with your everything. Reread this everytime you feel the need to talk to me.
I should come with a disclaimer that reads "bad at relationships and defensive when confronted about it"
or maybe "WARNING: picks fights when bored"
I think you just have to raise your bang age from 40 to 50, hope dust doesn't fly out and make her say tony danza
Dude you spoke to a girl about CRICKET. She MUST want sex
We dated for a month and a half. he didn't like blow jobs. I honestly don't think he was human.
YOURE A FUCKING ADULT. DONT TELL ME ITS PAST YOUR BEDTIME WHEN I WANT TO GET ANOTHER COCKTAIL.
PS I almost downloaded grindr to see if any guys wanted to buy me chinese food..
We were trying to organize all the customers to hold a window pickle race. as of 10:37 pm last night we are no longer allowed in our McDonalds.
ok, muffins say "love me", waffles say "fuck me", got it.
Randomize
