i jus pukd everywherw but i took a showr, come cuddle
how do chicks with those acryllic nails wipe their anuses?
we ended up doing shots out of those medicine cups..swine flu finally did something good for me
If I have to go to the hospital can we stop by the liquor store on the way?
Do you think I should make him wait for my responses or do you think sophomore have no concept of time like dogs?
We decided to cut you off after you insisted on eating peanuts by the dumpster
I'm gonna have to fantasize about her dying just to get off.
A sandwich with pizza as the bread. I love you.
YES WITH THE SQUARE KIND OF SLICES
and it seems i've caught your masturbating bug. thanks.
Did we smoke in a portapotty last night? And if so, do you think the brown stuff covering my body is actually dirt?
I think I heard my penis growl. Wanna do lunch?
He took my necklace off while we were 69ing. His tongue never stopped moving either. Take that, guys who can't figure out how bras work.
I'm sorry for what I said when I was orgasming
Nothing says "sober up, you whore" quite like an early morning PAP smear.
if anyone asks you the platypus in my bathtub is a gift...thats all anyone needs to know
Randomize
