and all i could think was, am i really about to have sex with someone who still thinks that pee comes out of the actual vagina?
Its 11am everyones wasted wearing sombreros and eating fresh produce..cesar chavez would be very proud
I knew she was going to get knocked up just by looking at her facebook pics
He snuck out of bed at 9 am and came back with pizza and a bottle of wine. I think I'm in love!
Gonna bang his former student. Clearly I am winning this breakup.
He appeared on my 7th floor fire escape and sang to me and jimmy through the window when we fucked. He's like a drunken mix of Sinatra and Spiderman.
I feel like when purchasing hard liquor on a Monday I also need to buy a happy 21st bday card to not seem so pathetic
I mean, that's eating your cake and fucking it too.
I just can't even fathom the crazy and I work at a mental hospital.
Well I took a spicy wing shit in a field this morning.
I can't believe i lost my ID... bringing my birth certificate to the club was a weird experience
The first thing I did in 2015 was suck a dick.....so.....
Goddamn it. Hes got me addicted to his penis
We had sex while watching the republican debate. I'm not sure how he maintained an erection watching Donald Trump speak.
it's like the easy bake oven version of plastic surgery
Randomize
