I won a flip cup tournbment! Why is boot and rally so hard when youre old?
I asked him if he wanted to go to my place, he said i could go but he was gonna stay
so after he got his stomach pumped, he asked for a smoking room.
My RA tried to compliment my pong tables design after he confiscated it
tried to be sexy and unbutton his shirt with my teeth. ended up slobbering all over it. thank god he was already passed out
You were yelling at the cops across the street saying they were at the wrong party
Just for future reference: milk is NOT a good mixer no matter how drunk you are.
they would be such cute babies and they would grow up to have huge dicks. and that would make me proud as a mother
You brought us all personal gifts you had stolen from the party and bellowed "hoes hoes hoes, clepto Santa loves you"
Need you on the dancefloor. Hungry and lonely.
I would recommend NOT getting ass enhancement shots.
Good. Need a drinking partner later. FOR AMERICA!!!
why do guys have to express their feelings when they know your seeing someone else ? I fucked him anyways to make him feel better , and to know what he's missing.
Tell me why I woke up with your dads construction shirt on, nothing else, and had jelly donuts with a note from a girl named cathryn that said "we had a kinky night with peanut butter". p.s. Im by the layin by the lawnmower
If you wanna do actual business call my office. If you’re just looking to get laid you need to up your game
Randomize
