Braces and a neon one piece. She looks 15.
i'm in love
How many times can you lose to your mom in beer pong before you can no longer show your face around campus?
I just decorated my birth control case with Lisa Frank stickers. If that doesn't scream 'I'm not ready for babies' I don't know what does.
please dont ever try to drink horizontally again. I thought I was going to have to give you cpr
And I'm supposed to be surprised that you got another concussion?
The liquor store manager told us to drink responsible as we checked out and we laughed to his face. Like we're buying karkov at noon, responsibility is out of the question
Couldn't get it up. She asked me what she was doing wrong. Didn't have the heart to tell her. I appreciated her willingness to adapt, but she's pretty much gonna look that bad her whole life.
I just can't have sex with a guy who has nicer eyebrows than me
Hey so I just want to get straight to the point it was me who ate the last cupcake and it was your sister who I fucked last nigt
I was all over the place but at every locale you would pop out of nowhere and hand me a huge drink and say "HAMMERED"
I am the fairy godmother of the drink.
She licked EVERYTHING then yelled at me in Spanish. I just kept saying SI.
well don't blame me. sometimes vibrators go missing and people get angry. these things happen
I owe you an apology, I was appointed captain of this sexy fuckship and I fell asleep at the helm.
Also, I just opened Google to find the lyrics to California Gurls. Karaoke night did us dirty.
He can be a kind, caring soul but also give in to the temptation of eating unicorn ass.
Randomize
