What are you drinking?
Shitty Coors light. OM NOM NOM TASTES LIKE HIGH SCHOOL
Phrase i just heard while watching the U.S. open: "Boy they have really trimmed it well, this has got to be the tightest hole in the Open."
i failed horribly. studying for that final was as pointless as Vinnie is to Jersey Shore
I told him to show me what he was made of and he came on my face. law students are so technical.
"Take a picture of me motorboating molly" was probably not my best career move
I'm rearranging all my life goals to become a billionaire by 28 and batman by 30. Not kidding.
Fuck my life, there's a fry in my vagina.
There's a woman at the bar holding a baby with one arm and doing shots of GM with the other. The baby is crying. I have lost faith in humanity.
I should never be allowed to dance around children at weddings. I think I just insured that a 4 year old will be a future teen mom.
I'm willing to share. He can have sloppy seconds.
stop fucking thinking about him when there is A MILLION OTHER PENISES TO RIDE IN THE WORLD
I don't think it counts as a booty call at 6:30 pm.
All I ever do is give guys anxiety problems and flaccid penises.
I wore the clothes I got arrested in last night to work today.....there is no where but up from here!
does anyone know where bryan is?
last i saw he was naked, and crying in the bathroom because there was no more booze.
Randomize
