clay aiken is like melissa ehteridge without the guitar.
The freshman sure do fuck up the whataburger line at 2am
The girl behind me in psych just tapped me on my shoulder to tell me there was a condom wrapper in my hood.
This taco party has no tacos, just a hot asian guy in booty shorts. We were lied to.
I almost stepped in a homeless mans stream of urine as he was peeing. I love this city.
I believe I can fly has to be one of the most inspirational songs of our time. Seriously R. Kelly nailed it
Then he went and peed on those teenagers.
Jesus himself couldn't make a better sandwich
We could have casual sex if you want. But I can't offer a bromance to a woman.
We took your mom out drinking and we wound up winning 18 games of Flip Cup. You have amazing genetics.
Woke up in bushes at UT didn't know I was Austin last night
I wonder if there is a über wall of shame that you are currently on. Like between drivers.
Only you would consider your best friend fucking your boyfriend to be a sign of everlasting friendship
Gary just stuck his dick in his Guinness. I can't even make this up
I just got to my parents hungover as hell. My dad could tell and said "theres only one cure for a hangover" and handed me a beer. This morning went from a 0 to 10 in an instant.
Mid thrust, say hold on I need a pic for my friend.
Randomize
