guess who just trotted in eating her oats and wagging her penis
im at a loss of words.... a stripper is dancing to a Justin Bieber song.
I had sex on an exercise ball. The inevitable has occurred.
My dad is drinking wine out of a measuring cup. This explains so much.
No it's okay, we're just driving to random places with the portable stripper pole and causing a ruckus.
Oh that's normal
the cops were hovering over him then shinned a flashlight to the floor above ours, then I realized that some fucker jumped from the third story.
fuck our hall.
I think that's why god made me a woman. Bc it's harder to slap people in the face with a vagina.
I was unconscious Saturday for like 6 hours after I passed out on the sidewalks of our nation's capital. Thank you America, for bottomless brunch.
Sorry I punched you in the throat. You got in my way. You understand.
I just had sex in the footy bunny pajamas my mom bought me for christmas. Tis the season
He has no idea I'm scrolling through Instagram while he's going down on me. I'm so bored.
I was literally so lonely last night that I stopped watching a video on porn hub and just read the comments
Are you really trying to argue your case that you seduced my cat?
We're both fucking guys named Frank. Our friendship was meant to be.
I just found a condom in my jolly ranchers bag. This is a good omen.
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