thx for the lesson on dirrty dancing
I wonder what it would be like to be a slice of cheese.
i just saw my boxers from 2 days ago stuck in a tree 4 miles from my house
I just wnated to let you know that I laminated my history notes so i can study in the shower.
I have your camera. You have 35 naked pictures of me. you're welcome.
Just opened a bottle with my rape whistle. At least it's finally getting used for something.
He compared my vagina to the first time he tried cocaine
Why not. Its my b-day, you're in town, I'm in town, bars are in town, and alcohol is in town. I don't see anything not good about those things.
Is a wave an appropriate goodbye when your one night stand wakes up and walks out towards the door while you are looking through the garbage for the evidence of a condom?
margarita monday on the first day back? my gpa is telling me noo! but my heart is telling me goo! I am conflicted..
i made sure not to drool on your bed by putting my hoodie on backwards and swaddling my face in the hood
Tackling and headbutting friends, running away and hiding from everyone, attempting to streak across campus, and then waking up with no sign of a hangover... happy 21 to me
not sure if destroying him emotionally was worth it but damn it's a fucking hilarious story
Why do pants feel so unnatural once you enter your own house
He's a douche. But I like the way he chokes me.
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