I'm sorry, but there's just something about mesh over nipples that irks me.
puked in the new hous. now it's officially home.
You were spitting chewed up pretzle into my hands telling me to hold it for you.
Saw the college gyno today. It has now been medically confirmed that I have a perfect vagina.
At some point last night was I riding a garbage can.. Things are starting to come back to me
Shotgunned a beer while taking a bath.
They all laughed at me when I bought that necklace from Life Alert. Who's laughing now?
My penis has a 100% approval rating. He has never received a formal complaint. If you'd like to file one, you can go fuck yourself.
Yeah. I was about to call 911 but I ended up breaking the door frame off then ran and puked all the way home.
I have a cat, a bottle of wine, and a Brazilian man. I need to catch you up on my life
He tried to take a picture of me naked but only got my ass. I don't know his name but if my butt is a guys wallpaper, that's the one I boned.
That's awesome and prob the first time you had an idea of what to do. I'm super proud of you Chelz
Its cos im stoned ! My high self is maturing
I'd rather be sodomized with a fullly decorated Christmas tree.
We can't go back there. Ever. No context required, just know it's true.
I’ve chosen to watch a Mercedes station wagon drive around the Austrian in the rain because it’s live sports. If that doesn’t explain 2020, I don’t know what does.
Randomize
