we were doing it doggy-style and i felt him pop that pimple on my back.I have mixed feelings about it
It was great. Even bought me breakfast in the AM
From?
Well, he didn't exactly take me out, but left a $20 on the table...
apparently breaking a beer bottle and then throwing up in a urinal is a terrible way to pick up girls.
I'm in the liquor aisle and a 10 yr old boy yells, "My favorite beer is Corona! Daddy remember when you gave me some on our camping trip?"
every time i wear that dress i get kicked out of a bar.
all I remember is repeatedly winking at the fire marshall while he was counting the people in the bar
There was a lot going on. It was easy to miss a 70 foot tall puppet.
There are so many birds around me. And squirrels. I feel like that chick from Enchanted...but like if she had a dick and made poor life decisions.
I thought monday through wednesday was a YOLO free zone.
While looking for socks, I found my mothers sex toy box. Dear god I finally understand where my kinkiness comes from.
Okay so my USC tutor just offered to eat me out. I think I'm definitely applying to USC.
Pretending to be completely fried so the odd girl next to me doesnt suspect im simply staring at her.
I had her buy me a cock ring, so we might test that out. We are presently playing yahtzee.
Cock rings and yahtzee. Like peanut butter and jelly.
I did not have sex with him because he had a puppy…finding out he had a husky pup waiting back at home was just an unexpected plus
Wine. Check.\nDino chicken nuggets. Check.\n#IssaParty
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