It was like if Side-show Bob had a vagina for a mouth
She was so bad on top that i found myself watching a TV that wasn't even turned on
there are certain things about getting into a cab to go home at 630 am that make me feel like a prostitute.
They are providing beer and having a margarita machine. This cannot be passed up.
I made weed fried chicken. What have you done today?
You were rubbing your foot on one of your legs and kept saying, "My sock feels like a waterslide!"
Just smoked out of an apple with Steve Jobs. I love Halloween.
I had a dream last night where I used the marginal product rule to figure out how much more hangover I got per sip of four loko, econ is taking over my life...
Bud light lime after 12 shots of vladdy is like frolickin in a meadow of sweet flavor
The light burnt out and he thinks the power is out in the whole house. He is cooking a hog dog over two candles. I'm gonna see if he'll make me one
I'm tripping balls on ambien right now and I still feel that's a bad idea.
BTW car sex works all the muscle groups. Just sayin. Legs/butt are sore as are arms, back and core.
my mom snuck into my room, washed her clothes and made her breakfast. what the fuck she's a better boyfriend than I am
Kick open the door, strike a pose, steal a boyfriend, end scene.
That's MADAM THUNDERCUNT to you
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