Bel-fucking-mar, this place has more popped collars than a Hollister catalog
oh great. the only prospects for sex left for the night are douchebag in the ed hardy shirt & frodo-looking ass
fuck it... i'll be the lord of his rings
his mom walked in, looked at me, sighed n nsaid 'when are u gonna learn' n walked out
His body is just chiseled out of sex. I would let that man do anything to my body. Including fuck me while my parents watch
He answered his phone while he was eating me out and proceeded to yell at his wife for interrupting lunch...impressed or rock bottom?
Alright dude i'm gonna go to go sleep off this soberness. my life is a cosmic joke
wrestling a boy for fruit? sounds suspiciously like foreplay...
30-degree weather + Metal Cockring Monday = really hard to pee.
SMOKEY THE BEAR CAME AT US WITH FUCKING AXES IN MY DREAM I THINK IT IS A SIGN TO STOP BLAZING IT IN THE WOODS
Dude, fate has brought her to your penis.
learned the hard way that breakfast jack daniels is a lot stronger than lunch or dinner jack daniels.
Sooooooo this guy just asked me if I'd be interested in a threesome... I'm considering bc I would get to hang out with his dog afterwards.
I kinda forgave him after he laid next to me and rubbed my arm for four hours while I tripped balls.
Remember that guy that walked around our house naked with a boner wearing nothing but his winter coat? Well, he has a kid now.
You started having a threesome right in front of me.
lololol that's what happened?
Stephanie looked me right in the eye while she was going down on you. It made me really uncomfortable.
Randomize
