This is not my ceiling
Best walk of shame ever - Brown Hennesy shirt, bright blue overly large basketball shorts, stilettos from night before - ended up buying a ton of 40's and a 30 pack of coors.
Where are you?
A place I should not be.
What a good family we'd make, him and I and our kids and his good dick.
This beer is not sobering me up at all
high. he's playing 'oops i did it again' on the ukelele. is this real life?
So I feel bad, Ross is asking questions, I think they need to know it's a Spanish lesbian bar
Just woke up next to our cab driver from last night. Please tell me this isn't happening.
He got up when I started trying to balance my wine glass on his head.
How interesting! I'm adding this to my list of things to discuss with you between fucks.
i came outside and he was eating her out on my lawn. i refuse to pick up the dog shit in my yard so i hope he chose the spot wisely
I just remembered touching your bosses wife's fake tits last night. Thanks again for taking me to your work function.
I'm in his bed. I got up to puke. Im one eyeing it eating a hot dog bun. Wtf. This is my life
also I was promised more toga parties by popular media
when u match a guy bc he's from Oregon & he's trying to flirt, shut up i just want to talk about trees
At the light, his mom pulled up next to us while I was giving him road head. He forgot to tell me she was meeting us at the movie. So long story short, I convinced her I drove myself, pick me up in 20.
Randomize
