You know those ponds where you go and pay $5 and your guarranteed to catch a fish thats how i describe her
I smelled my fingers after she left and they smelt like sugar cookies. I want that one again.
remember, YOU ARE A WINNER
my dinner was a box of cheezits simultaneously mixed in with cocoa puffs and fried rice.
Things are burning & the world smells of peanut butter. It's beautiful.
Well there is another shower in Nov. So I have three months to figure out how to get some drunk space fucking. May need some of your mead
Note to self: Don't go home with a recent divorcee. Semen and tears.
Hey its me your friend who impressed the pharmacist by already knowing the generic version of plan b by name
THEY AREN'T MARRIED. PUT ON YOUR HOMEWRECKING PANTIES AND GET TO WORK. NO EXCUSES.
Her tutu was on the floor and she wouldn't take off her crown. She kept saying you're fucking a princess!
We put a ban on pants at an unusually early point in the night.
Pretty sure my boner drove me home. Like it didn't just do the steering it was the gas and brake too..
I'm trying to be celibate. I'm having me time. I'm eating cake.
Why is there cereal literally EVERYWHERE?
It didn't follow directions.
Nothing says happy Monday quite like coffee and oral sex.
I need my sock, sombrero, maracas, and I just heard I had a light saber, if thats the case...i want that back too
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