you took out flashcards at the bar and went around asking guys what totalitarianism meant.
well seeing as i got a call at 5 am from the hotel manager telling me my cousin was passed out on the lobby floor...not good
I have decided today is drunk costume day. That is, i woke up still drunk and found costumes all over my floor. Heck yes. This is happening. Come over. Drink.
She's never going to forget it... Christmas Anal.
Threesome in a minivan. New low
Also, your vagina needs a time out and let your brain have a chance to make decisions.
I mean you can't really blame him. He's named after whiskey and I don't get along with pants.
Girl I love you like I've been drinking all day
I'm seriously considering refraining from drinking on school nights.
I like how you say that with 4 school days left of the school year..
she keeps dunkaroos and gatorade in her bed. yep pretty sure im in love.
So I had sex in the woods today. Anything else that happened today? Irrelevant. It was a GOOD day.
It was the highest I'd ever been. I felt like a blob. A blob eating a burrito.
I made the last cup in beer pong off the dude's hat. I also faintly remember rapping Forever by Drake during said game.
I would like to reiterate that I went to give lessons and ended up having a three way instead
I feel awkward having to tell people “sorry you can’t finger me because I will get a UTI and I don’t have health insurance”
Randomize
