SECOND walk of shame from the westside Hilton, SECOND foreign family w kids staring at me in my dress, glitter purse, spiky heels and booze breath. I said I was going to church. More confusion.
That level of neurosis does not find love outside of Grey's Anatomy.
She kept calling me her DD, which I assumed meant designated driver, so I was confused because I don't even have a car. Found out later it means designated dick. It's what her and her friends use as code for the guy they want to hook up with at the end of the night. I feel so used.
I will return your cat, I saw a mouse in my apt last night and your door was unlocked, it seemed really practical
Not exactly sure why you felt the need to get the halloween decorations out. But waking up to 7 carved pumpkins really scares the shit out of you.
Status Uddate: I lost half a tooth and Alison is taking Amy Grant requests via bullhorn
Romney sounds like a middle school girl and that creepy ass smile makes me want to close my blinds
Lol what? Monday night impromptu acid drop was the alternative.
We got way too high so we're sitting in the parking lot of the movies trying to figure out what bar to go to
If someone made a breakfast cereal that was a cross between lucky charms and fruity pebbles and called it unicorn power with a huge fucking rainbow and a unicorn standing in a pot of gold on the box, they would be rich. Not only monetarily but spiritually as well...
I just masturbated and watched youtube makeup videos, which was just an extension of masturbation.
Tequila ran out around 11 so she let them do body shots of chips and guacamole instead
Walking towards a police car with full spotlights on you while being fully erect..awkward exp. for both parties
Just imagine a dick squawking like a parrot
hey, cheif big dick, where the fuck are my panties.
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