Is it gay to rub my penis between my butt cheeks and pretend that they're tits?
Wow! You need to get laid.
some guy just got out of his chair quietly. Laid down on the floor and is now asleep in between rows in my lecture hall. He must have had a rough night.
taking a shot every time they compare curling to a real sport
are you excited because you wanna see me or because you wanna get laid?
bc i get to see you. naked.
Everybody knows the last week of summer internships include showing up to the office hammered and hitting on the CEO
all i know is that i listed him in my phone as 'vagina cookies.' that can only be a good thing.
Once two people had broken bones it had become a bulk hospital trip so we took the party bus
He Facebook stalked his way right into my pants.
Tommarow we shall sacrifice the freshmen to the sun god
I'm not drinking with you for AT LEAST a day
I just sat watching friends in the bathtub by candlelight...nights like this make me wonder if I ever want to be in a relationship again
I'm a hopeless romantic with the sex drive of a married politician. IM DOOMED.
I'm drunk still and I cried and now I'm watching Whitney Houston singing the national anthem and I'm crying more
336: Dude I lost my.phone Wednesday night at a party and just found it, three days later, on the lacrosse field....what the actual fuck.
Welp, no use in crying over spilt milk. I can't unbang her.
Randomize
