I might come over and watch a movie but I can't spend the night. my parents would wonder where i was
you're 26.
Not hooking up w him- he has one of those L.L. Bean book bags w his initials on it
You go to school with some of the ugliest girls I've ever seen... How are you not getting laid?
Almost accidentally stole a baby... explain later
that was probably me. ive bitten a lot of people.
Sorry for making you give strangers a ride for hits of acid.
he tried to do a one handed cartwheel to showoff but knocked himself out cold. fuckin jagerbombs will kill that man.
Can I color on your dick again?
Drinking loves me for WHO I am
yeah...well...life isn't all puppies & lap dances
I found my weird threshold when Truth or Dare became everyone get naked and snort Adderall off the kitchen counter.
If your gig isn't over in 30 minutes I am coming on that stage to come on your dick.
Every time Brady gets sacked I cum a little...
I just got a snapchat of a flaccid penis with the caption "happy belated valentine's day." What did I do to deserve this
Sorry I drunk. I wouldn’t eat those pancakes. I think I put glitter in them.
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