Yeah unless I can find some idiot to make love to
And then I watched some old guy get arrested for meeting some other old guy for a blow job. It was epic.
it was like my fingers were behind enemy lines
he pulled a hernia and i had to get the morning after pill. you tell me how our valentines day went.
time for a it's-monday-night-and-this-week-is-gunna-suck-drink.
I feel like I've been slapped by Gods icy cold dick of vengeance.
Listening to Joy Division and applying for Walmart. You get to choose which one is more depressing.
I'm thinking we can stop tracking my sex life by the hotels I've hooked up in and instead use bar bathrooms I've gotten head in.
judging from the lines on my body they wheeled me back in a shopping cart
Heed the warning of the ghost of Oktoberfest present: German beer is soooooooo much better than our watered down children's piss. also lost all my clothes and am wearing lederhosen the rest of the trip.
I don't know. I was hiding and the bed was banging. I am going to sleep now in someone's car.
i'm about to be the still-drunkest person on the ellipticals
I don't know if should be sitting on a toilet or kneeling in front of it
You had 10 drinks. On a first date.
I just masterbated then started bawling.
I m a li title tea p or short and sto u. T.... Here is my haaandley
C ANGT CATCH NE IM THE GIBNGER BREAS MAB
Working from home has been great for my sex life! A few of my neighbors are in open marriages and several more wish they were!!!
Randomize
