Does leaving at 3 give Sara enough time to take the bus or are you picking her up?
I cant tell if your joking or not, but I'm picking her up
Do you need some kind of permission slip from her parents or can anyone just go and grab a high schooler these days?
Just saw a girl trying to crack an egg with her butt cheeks. I think I know what we're doing thursday night.
I wish the health center treadmills counted beers burned not calories
when are you leaving homes?
it's 7:51. why the fuck are you awake at 7:51
I had a sex dream about Oprah.
go back to sleep
dude. it was a sex dream. about. Oprah.
Did I send you an asleep facebook message about the upcoming football season titled 'BRILLIANT' at 4:45 this morning?
I wish they'd wear their tampons on the outside. At least gimme some warning
Look, as a friend I'm asking to see a picture of his tiny dick
Saw 2 lesbians fist fighting outside the bar tonight. I was startled yet slightly turned on
How about to stay friends we only have sex on our birthdays. Maybe national holidays too. And days we get really drunk. Wanna get really drunk?
Man I can't wait till Thursday if strippers and beer are what you consider "research"
Dude she's from Moscow. I feel like I'm cheating on America.
She came into the salon and said, "Don't judge me. Yes that's cum in my hair and I want a shampoo, cut and style."
I'm eating cookie dough with a tongue depressor for lunch.
Dick is the cure to depression. I'm almost positive. And cough syrup.
Found my paycheck. It was in the freezer
Randomize
