As long as they suck a good dick I don't care what fruit they have and where they have it
she told me I give head better than a lesbian. I know it's a great compliment but it kind of threw me off.
Just made nachos out of string cheese and sunchips and laying in my bed watching babay einstion..get on my level
Hey welcome to Rick's drunk text tree. Rick is drunk right now please respond with "shut up" to remove your name from this list. Thanks for playing.
promise me that when we are 32, we will look nothing like Kim Zolciak. Promise me right this instant.
Why are all the dvds taped to the fish tank. Really.
The highlight of your blackout was when you drunk showered with the garden hose and emailed your boss your vacation requests for the next year.
A guy in the dance floor is raising the roof with an axe in hand. I love Halloween.
That feeling when you're ready to convert to the religion of whatever god will stop the vomit. Dynamite is illegal.
But yeah, that is officially the new "I just came" picture
I snorted xanax while wearing reindeer antlers. Prancer gone wild. Have a merry Christmas.
That falls under the "unwelcome penises" category. Also that's definitely a sentence I never thought I would say
my god I love twenty year old dicks
Well that's very sweet of you. I have a strange feeling you're going to regret this when you sober up.
NO REGRETS FUCK DA POLICE
But the real reason your aunt is drunk crying is because she has already had four margs and went for a 5th and someone is trying to stop her
Randomize
