i cant believe u jumped in someones trunk just to get out of talking to me
tell your sister to shave her snatch
i think im in love. he told me he doesnt care if i shave down there.
Im in Brooklyn, he wasnt 23 or a musician pick me up
im having a hard time not telling ppl about ur bathroom story
you 2 were alone in the living room and the dog walked in and you started yelling what are all these people doing in here
You tired to make us "vodka tacos". Which was just you dipping pitas in vodka.
Any good?
Well. FUCK YA. But that's beside the point
Get drunk. Masturbate to his picture. Fall asleep. Repeat. Fuck summer.
I want to wear Christmas sweaters with you.
I just traded a couple nudes for pizza delivery. Call me lazy, easy, or an entrepreneur, but either way I'll have dominoes in 15 minutes.
Last nights hook up turn into a star wars history lesson.. He's luck y he's pretty..
Nothing says "Jesus has forgiven your sins" like finding out you're not pregnant on Easter.
He made her leave because she liked Top-Ramen better than Maruchaun. He's my hero.
Can you leave her a note saying "did you enjoy watching me fuck your roommate?"
I will.
I prefer to think of hangovers as extreme sobriety, which can only be cured by more booze
Randomize
